One Page Summaries

[Buried Editor]

Take your finished novel and write a one page summary. Please do not post your summary as an attachment. To make it easier for everyone, just paste it into the body of a post.

[Lori Calabrese]

Here's my one page summary for my 29,944 word middle-grade sports novel, Playing Hardball. It explores both the good and bad in team sports such as baseball. I appreciate any comments and suggestions. Thanks so much!

Playing Hardball Synopsis:
Alex Moretti is a ten-year old boy who has some personal problems he’s dealing with, along with a physical ability problem-- one you might suppose any kid would love to have: Alex tops his fastball at forty miles per hour. Alex would think he’d be welcomed in Bay Shore for leading his team, the Lynx, to victory after victory. But no! Alex feels the parents’ stares and hears their murmurs. Most think at the 10-year old level, players should be learning the fundamentals, not how to strike out. But the league president, Mr. Mench, has different plans for Alex and attempts to transfer Alex to the defending league champions, the Bobcats.

Is it just that an exceptional player should be treated unfairly? Alex prefers to play alongside his friends, and represent the team sponsored by his grandfather’s deli. A cruel twist of fate took the person who meant the most to him, his dad; he missed an entire season of baseball; and his mom packed them up and moved, so Alex’s grandparents could help look after him. Like a heart needs a beat, the only thing Alex wants is to play baseball for his current team.

Alex is a picture in contrasts, strong and outspoken on the field, but quiet and introverted off the field. As Alex avoids the situation, events begin to overtake Alex. Mr. Mench threatens Alex’s coach not to play him; Alex gets into a fight with T.J. Watson, who is jealous of the attention Alex has received; games are cancelled and Alex’s coach is forced to resign. The big blow comes when Grandpa suffers a heart attack and the team receives a letter stating the Lynx will be disbanded immediately.

Faced with the fear of sitting out another season, Alex begins to unravel Mr. Mench’s intentions. Alex and his best friend, Jeremy “The Ripper” Ramsay discover that corruption is rampant in their Little League. Knowing what he knows about Mr. Mench, and given he can’t imagine another season without baseball, can Alex learn how to play hardball off the field?

Through this experience, Alex digs deep to find the self-confidence needed to keep his team intact and finally learns how to get a good grip on life just as he can a baseball.

[Buried Editor]

OK Lori,

Right now this is more of the type of teaser/summary that you include in a query letter -- and for that this works quite well. But it is not specific and linear enough for a one page summary. This needs to focus more on the events, and less on overall themes of the book. For example, let's look at the following paragraph:

"Faced with the fear of sitting out another season, Alex begins to unravel Mr. Mench’s intentions. Alex and his best friend, Jeremy “The Ripper” Ramsay discover that corruption is rampant in their Little League. Knowing what he knows about Mr. Mench, and given he can’t imagine another season without baseball, can Alex learn how to play hardball off the field?"

In the beginning of the paragraph, it works for a summary. It is detailing events that play out in the book. But, the last sentence is the kind of teaser sentence that you put in a query letter or that appears in jacket copy. Although the point of a one page summary is to entice the editor to read more, you want to do it by stating the actual story, not by trying to keep the editor guessing.

Hope this helps. I would look at the post I put up today on my blog and read some of the summary examples there to help you refine this a bit more.

[Lori Calabrese]

This does help and so did your blog post today! I'm so glad you're doing this. Thanks so much for the suggestions--they're greatly appreciated. Back to refining! :)

[Natalie Aguirre]

Here's my summary for my approximately 84,000 mid-grade fantasy, THE THIRD TOWER.

How could a girl, adopted from China as a baby, have inherited magical powers from her adoptive great-grandmother? JASMINE must grapple with this impossibility when she drags her reluctant but resourceful friend AUSTIN through a strange door that appears in her backyard that leads to the mysterious land of Myrrdin. They are shocked to learn Jasmine’s great-grandmother came from Myrrdin and once helped save it from GLAZDICK, an evil daray—part human and part swine—plotting to take over the country and destroy its magic in revenge for injustices once done to his family. Everyone believes Jasmine has inherited her great-grandmother’s magical powers and that it is her destiny to fight and destroy Glazdick like her great-grandmother.

Jasmine and Austin are soon faced with more problems after discovering that something is being hidden in the Castle that Glazdick desperately needs. Worse, if he steals it, he would never let them leave Myrrdin and Jasmine would be faced with the excruciating choice of letting Glazdick hurt Austin or helping him ruin Myrrdin, the land she now loves. They are determined to figure out what it is so they’ll be able to go home.

When Jasmine and Austin, to his surprise, learn magic and meditation practices and Jasmine studies magical spells on her own, she discovers a part of herself she didn’t know existed—magic! But she still doubts she could have inherited any powers.

With the help of their friend LLUD, a talking doorknob and head of the Doorknob Department at the Castle, she and Austin find out that what’s being hidden in the third tower down the hall from their rooms is a magical weapon called a hudlath. It is used to imprison Glazdick and the darays in the country where they live. But they still have no idea what it has to do with them. While trying to figure this out, they discover that the threat to the hudlath and them is imminent when they overhear two evil darays discussing a plot to take it. Could it be that the strange deliveryman they’ve seen lurking at the tower door is employed by Glazdick and is planning to steal the hudlath for him?

Finding no one at the Castle to protect it, Jasmine and Austin sneak into the tower to guard it. Their suspicions are confirmed when the man breaks into the tower, but to their horror, they discover that he’s really Glazdick, who’s used a dark inhabitation spell to disguise himself.

He is convinced Jasmine has the key to making the hudlath work properly, but she has no clue what it is. When he taunts her about having no magical abilities because she’s adopted, Jasmine must face her own doubts and realizes magical powers, like her other talents and personality traits, can come from the bonds of love rather than being born into a family. Using spells and the hudlath, she and Austin fight Glazdick off until he is forced to flee. But before flying away, Glazdick warns Jasmine he’ll be back and that she’ll be surprised how easily he’ll get into the Castle.

Soon, Jasmine and Austin must go home. They look forward to the time when they’ll return to Myrrdin, even though they know they will have to face Glazdick again.

[Buried Editor]

Like I told Lori above, this is more of the kind of thing you use in the body of the actual query letter. As a summary, it's a little vague and has too many teasers. The point is to actually tell the story, not hing at it. The last two paragraphs do this, but the beginning does not.

So, I would recommend taking the tone and pace you use to tell the last two paragraphs and extend it up. Also, look at the post on the blog where I discuss some examples of summaries and why they work.

[Natalie Aguirre]

Thanks for your helpful comments. I really appreciate that you are taking the time to help us. I'm very excited about your contest.